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TKiley

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Viewing 15 posts - 61 through 75 (of 85 total)
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  • in reply to: Introduce Yourself! #7416
    TKiley
    Participant

    Welcome aboard, as I used to say in the Navy.  It’s nice to meet you Cleopatra.

    in reply to: Introduce Yourself! #7407
    TKiley
    Participant

    It is nice to meet you Isadora!

     

    in reply to: Hey! How about another challenge! #7404
    TKiley
    Participant

    Good day everyone.  You know sometimes outstanding issues can make it difficult to acknowledge a persons efforts.  I had an experience like that this past weekend.  My birthday was Friday, and my wife and I went up north to visit our daughter and 2 grand daughters, who live at the Washington/Canada border; with Josh, her boyfriend.  There in lies the rub.  Being a bit old fashioned when it comes to relationships, the fact that Josh hasn’t married the mother of his 2 daughters yet has caused some ire over the past few years.  But, we weren’t going to let that prevent us from having a good time with the girls.  The weekend was lots of fun, playing with the 6 yr old and the 1 yr old.  Even attending the wrestling match, the older girl was in, was fun to watch (yes, she is a candidate for future wrestlemania!).  It was especially a thrill when she pinned one challenger in just a few seconds!  During the day long event Josh sat next to me numerous times to see how things were going, talked about Larissa’s matches, what was coming up, and just talked between the matches.  I actually had a good time with him.  Before we left, Josh gave me some presents which was a total surprise.  He handed me a coffeemaker and a couple of movie dvd’s.

    I must admit, I found myself in a bit of a struggle to put past issues behind and acknowledge his efforts to make the weekend as good as it was.   But, I put that all aside and thanked him with a hand shake and told him how much I appreciated all that he and my daughter had done to make the weekend enjoyable for me and my wife.  And I must say his smile was well worth the acknowledgement!

     

    in reply to: Hey! How about another challenge! #7378
    TKiley
    Participant

    You know, it’s funny how the acknowledgement of efforts aren’t bound by time.  It is just as effective to appreciate deeds and actions from years before as it is for deeds accomplished yesterday.  Within the last year I have been able to reconnect with many shipmates from my 22 yrs in the Navy.  Some lasted their minimal enlistment of 6 years (advanced electronics ratings were 6 year enlistments).  Others retired like me, or went on to be officers through the various programs the Navy offered.  I was actually giving acknowledgement to one shipmate of mine; a Missile Technician first class, who was with me on my last ship, the USS OHIO.  I was thanking him for his support of me as his Chief Petty Officer, and how my success after the Navy had been fine tuned with his help during my last deterrent patrol.  He stopped me and told me that it was me who helped him in his efforts to advance.  In fact, the day I retired he received word that he had been selected for advancement to Chief Petty Officer himself.  And his career took off further after I left, as he was successful in completing the program to become a commissioned officer, advancing to Lieutenant Commander before retiring himself.  Another shipmate thanked me for all the times onboard my first ship, USS US GRANT.  He told me that I was the comic relief they all needed to break up the boredom of long deterrent patrols out in the north Atlantic.  He thanked me for making life bearable and ‘interesting’ at sea.  It wasn’t until speaking to these guys that I even knew what impact I would have on them.  And I found one guy who made a significant impact on my life who I hadn’t been able to thank for many years.  He was the GRANT’s Command Master Chief; senior enlisted man on board.  For submarines they are called The Chief of the Boat, or COB.  When I saw photos of him, he was aged as expected, but still the nicest man, always thinking of others.  I contacted him and thanked him for all the guidance and direction he gave me.  He asked me how I did in my career.  I told him of making Chief, and the career I had after the navy, and how I was succeeding.  He said “Great!  I knew you would.”  5 words that meant so much more than five other words would.  And all this through social media.  Maybe this is why it’s so important to reach the lofty goal of 100,000 members here at the Center for Grateful Leadership.  Imagine so many people to share experiences with and to learn from.  We can do it, so we will.

     

    Take care everyone.

    in reply to: Hey! How about another challenge! #7325
    TKiley
    Participant

    Hello again all! And it was nice hearing from all who attended the Q&A meeting earlier today.  I mentioned my weekly share while attending, and would like to share it here as well.

    As I mentioned at the meeting, I was not good at acknowledging people in general.  Sure I’d say thank you or well done, etc.  But it was as meaningful as saying the grass is green.  That came from my Navy career working on submarines, and on the weapons on board.  Excellence was standard.  It was expected that you’d perform well, so there was not much praise, or acknowledgement.  I continued that way after retiring.

    Getting involved with The Grateful Leadership community has been a big help in recognizing accomplishments and performance in a more meaningful and heartfelt way, in all areas.  Well, all areas except one that I found out yesterday, which I would like to share with you.

    My wife Terri has been with me for 31 years; the first 14 as a Navy wife.  She had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 2007, and has great difficulty maneuvering around.  We had purchased some beef from a neighbor friend who raises grass fed beef; some beef meaning the entire cow.  About 700 pounds.  And I picked it up yesterday!  We had 8 boxes of ground beef, t-bones, rib steaks briskets, rump roast, rolled roast, chuck roast, cube steak, skirt steak, flank steak, EVERY STEAK!

    Well, we started to empty the boxes, and quickly got into a routine.  Terri would empty the boxes and sort out the like type packages, and I would take them to the freezer and stack them in a reasonable order.  Well, we expected to take about 3-4 hours figuring out what is what and where to put it all.  With teamwork we finished in about 45 minutes.  When we were done I immediately acknowledged her efforts as I have learned to do.  Not with the nonchalant ‘thanks honey’ pat on the head style of thank you.  No I looked her in the eye and thanked her for all the effort in helping to get the beef stowed away.  I acknowledged the work she did, and how she perservered through her weakness and limitations and told her I could never have finished as quickly and successfully without her help.  She did not respond.  Instead, she stared at me, and I swear she had a tear in her eye.  That’s when I realized that all the changes I have made in being vulnerable, to acknowledging people with heartfelt thanks, I had not been properly acknowledging the person that means the most to me.

    She told me that I had never thanked her like that, and she was a bit taken back by my words (in a good way).  So we talked a little about how we got it all done so quick, and about the way she ‘categorized’ the beef making things go so well.  When all said and done, she smiled and thanked me for acknowledging her efforts.

    I learned another good lesson yesterday.

    in reply to: Opportunities for Acknowledgment Are Everywhere #7266
    TKiley
    Participant

    With pleasure, please share!

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 9 months ago by TKiley.
    in reply to: Opportunities for Acknowledgment Are Everywhere #7263
    TKiley
    Participant

    Hre’s a quick one!

    I was in line at a Walmart checkout counter, you know the ones with 16 or so counters and only 2 are active with a line of maybe 7 or 8 at each.  And the clerk is in a restrained frenzy!  Yeah, that line.

    So I listened to the quick discussion between this one particular clerk and the customer in front of me.  It wasn’t a good discussion; price is wrong, etc.  She was not having a good day.  So, when it became my turn through the checkout gauntlet, I caught her name on the name tag and struck up a simple discussion about the weather, how busy it was, and used her name.  When I called her by name, she seemed a bit surprised, but also appreciated that I used her name instead of hey you, or miss, or ma’am.  ( After all, a man with so much gray hair like I have calling a 20 something “ma’am” seemed really weird).  Well, just the sound of her name calmed her a bit, and she settled down while scanning my items.  By the time I was through, she had her smile on, and talking to the next customer.  And all I did was acknowledge her name.  Cool, eh?

    in reply to: Opportunities for Acknowledgment Are Everywhere #7235
    TKiley
    Participant

    I had an opportunity yesterday to acknowledge someone as well.  And I must admit, I thoroughly enjoyed doing it.  I’ve found that a handshake can do wonders, but a note to someone’s boss can go much further.  So when opportunity knocks, I now try to knock, ring the bell and tap the window to thank someone’s efforts.

    A truck driver delivered a vital piece of equipment we need to rent for a few months.  He set it up, showed me the specifics and offered to answer any questions I might have.  I felt he went beyond just unhooking the item and driving off.  So I thanked him with a big handshake and smile, then went to the computer.  I wrote an email to his bosses. I thanked them for sending the first of two items to us.  “Having this one here gives us the opportunity to ensure we get the connections we need for our project.  I would also like to pass on my appreciation for the effort your driver Jim gave.  After landing the tank, he went over some ideas to set up the floats, pointed out the connections and man ways, and went as far as to tighten the man way covers.  I did let him know he did not have to do tighten them, since we need to enter the tank to set up our system.  I really appreciate that effort.  It tells me your company cares for your customers.  Thank you, and looking forward to the next tank on Monday!”  That was yesterday.  I was not expecting a response, especially so soon, but this morning I received this response from the company’s manager, “Thank you, it is always good to here about positive interactions in the field. I will let Jim know that you appreciated all his help. Yes, we will be there on Monday. Will you need anymore floats or will the two be enough?

    Thank you”

    So I did a quick reflection on this.  I did get a good feeling to see this email, but I realized that I actually enjoyed writing the thank you note even more!  I found myself starting the normal dull thanks for stopping by kind of note, but it soon turned into a challenge to write something that would be simple, and make “Jim’s” day all at once.  And when I hit the send button, I felt great!  The email today was the icing on the cake.

    I can get used to this….

     

    in reply to: IIL IPM Day 2016 #6795
    TKiley
    Participant

    I finally had the chance to listen to the presentation from Tom Peters.  Wow!  First of all I love his realistic, down to earth attitude.  I must admit, along with getting a lot out of his piece, I think I laughed through at least a third of the presentation.  For me he set the gold standard for the ability to be both informative and entertaining at the same time.  I couldn’t stop watching.  It truly was incredible.

    in reply to: Hey! How about another challenge! #6791
    TKiley
    Participant

    It has been a while, so HOWDY ALL!  I just wanted to share one of my recent experiences with acknowledgement.  When it comes to contractors we hire for various projects, it is always good to send a note, email, text or phone call to the point of contact I start with; usually the estimator or supervisor.  And they are consistent in their appreciation of the recognition.  But I thought that the worker bees who come and make the changes need the acknowledgement as well, maybe more so.  Let’s face it.  They do the work!  They apply their skills and trades to make our thing a better thing.  It doesn’t matter whether it’s patching a hole in the parking lot, repairing the pipe that leaks in the bathroom, or building and installing a complete modification to one of our vital pieces of equipment.  They are the ones who make the change, so they should get the instantaneous acknowledgement.  So, when the job is done, I seek out every single member of the contractor team and give them a strong handshake and a warm smile and thank you for all they did.  In one project to repair a drainline under the parking lot, a guy was very surprised I came to him.  He was ‘just the driver’.  He hauled the heavy equipment, did the ‘go-for’ runs and picked up the rubbish/rubble.  He actually questioned why I was shaking his hand when all he did was drive.  I said “If it wasn’t for you driving, the equipment would not have made it to the worksite, and the work wouldn’t have been completed.”  Again he questioned, since another driver could have done it.  “But it was YOU who did.  And I appreciate you efforts to make this job a success.  Thank you.”  What a big smile he has!

    in reply to: Kathy Kest's idea of a weekly reminder to contribute to CGL! #6790
    TKiley
    Participant

    Fantastic! It’s Grateful Networking! I love input!

    in reply to: IIL IPM Day 2016 #6775
    TKiley
    Participant

    IT’S HERE! Hope to see you there!

    in reply to: Hey! How about another challenge! #6725
    TKiley
    Participant

    Congratulations Kathy! (Hmm, it seems strange saying that to someone who was laid off!)

    in reply to: Hey! How about another challenge! #6710
    TKiley
    Participant

    So, OK.  I’m a sports nut.  Baseball, Football, Hockey, (Basketball-not so much), even curling!  Living in the Pacific Northwest, it’s hard to be a home town NY Giant fan, so I follow the Seahawks.  I was reading an article last week on one of their players, Kevin Pierre-Louis.  Big guy, great player.  But the article is about how he came to know that he suffers from depression, and how he has to deal with it day to day.  One of the things I found inspiring in this story was how he was having trouble understanding his situation, and that watching a video made a positive impact on him.  That was a video Judy had suggested for me to watch; the TED Talk video called “The Power of Vulnerability” by Brene Brown.  Kevin said the words sounded as if they were being spoken directly to him.  The article goes on, “His favorite moments are when he’s in conversation with someone and depression comes up. He tells the person his story, that he can relate, and he always stares at their eyes, first for the surprise and then for the comfort.  He craves that connection.”

    With all the hype around professional athletes, their abilities, their successes, their paychecks, it is good to see that these individuals are also very human.  Not only because of the special projects they get involved with to help their communities during off times, but also when they are strong enough to be vulnerable.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by TKiley.
    in reply to: Kathy Kest's idea of a weekly reminder to contribute to CGL! #6709
    TKiley
    Participant

    I was thinking about this idea, and think it’s great.  But it’s possible that not everyone uses Outlook.  Some may use Lotus notes, or other.  Maybe another way to do this is for the folks to set a calendar event in their system and comment back either here or on facebook that their calendar is set.  For example, we just changed from Lotus to the latest version of Outlook here at work.  I set up a calendar event for every Thursday morning at 8 am to add a post or comment to the CGL site.  (facebook is frowned upon a bit during work hours; sort of a repellant for social butterflies!).  And it’s set to show my time free, so if I have a meeting pop up, it won’t show as a conflict.  I hate conflicts!

     

Viewing 15 posts - 61 through 75 (of 85 total)
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